Semi-Colons

Use a semi-colon to separate items in a series, when each item contains within it a comma.  FOR EXAMPLE:

The Super Bowl has been held in a number of cities: Atlanta, Georgia; New Orleans, Lousiana; San Francisco, California; New York City, New York. 

TO AVOID A COMMA SPLICE, use a semi-colon to separate two sentences that have been joined. 

COMMA SPLICE:
Social networks provided hours of entertainment for many people,  it also provides an opportunity for predators to seek unsuspecting, innocent victims.

CORRECTION FOR COMMA SPLICE USING A SEMI-COLON:

Social networks provided hours of entertainment for many people;  it also provides an opportunity for predators to seek unsuspecting, innocent victims

Better REVISION:

 Social networks provided hours of entertainment for many people. Unfortuneately, social networks also provides an opportunity for predators to seek unsuspecting, innocent victims

REVISION, EDITING, PROOFREADING

An example of REVISION.

The original:

Food has always surrounded holidays. Since the Super Bowl has become known as the unofficial holiday it's only natural food consumption would be involved. This holiday is surrounded by food just like Thanksgiving; however, you would be more likely to eat pizza than turkey.

REVISION:

Food has always surrounded holidays and the Super Bowl. However, instead of turkey and dressing, a person would be more likely to eat pizza, hamburgers, and chicken wings.

The original:

Setting is the location of where a story is set. It is important because it gives information on a story.

REVISION:

The setting of the story refers to both the location where the action takes place and the approximate time period the action takes place; for example, in Ray Bradbury's story "All Summer in a Day," the setting is in a classroom on Venus, sometime in the distant future.

An example of VPR, vague pronoun reference:

Before the internet, it was very difficult to track down childhood friends, school mates, and others because you had to rely on word of mouth or networking with people to reconnect old relationships.

REVISION:

Before the internet, tracking down childhood friends, school mates, and others was difficult because a person had to rely on word of motuh or networking with people to reconnect old relationships.

Corrections

Be sure to use specific examples
 
Grammar, punctuation, usage -- all of these can affect coherence
EXAMPLES of abbreviations used in papers:

R-O = run-on sentence
CS = comma splice
TS  = tense shift
VPR = vague pronoun or vague pronoun reference
AGR = there is an agreement flaw
sp = spelling error

Composition abbreviations:
TR = transition is needed

Two terms to know:

• DICTION - refers to the words chosen--the key is to select the very best possible word for your sentence

Examples--for collegiate writing, you need to think more deeply, be more aware of words, and choose Better Words.  BW = better word
AVOID using the following:
a lot
great or nice
good
use words that are more formal, more academic
Don't confuse your words:
wonder / wander
then / than
death / deaf

• SYNTAX - the arrangement of words in a sentence or paragraph

Example of incorrect syntax:
"They did a commercial about a goat that is being sold by his owner who had an unusual craving for Doritos."

"They" ???  who are "they'?
Revised:

The advertising department for Doritos created
a commercial about a goat who had an unusual craving for Doritos  that was being sold by its owner.

Sentence that needs revision:
You think that when you get on Facebook that you're getting on just to check your notifications and you end up being on there for hours.

One way to revise: change 2nd person "YOU" to first person "I":

I think that when I get on Facebook that I'm getting on just to check my notifications, and I end up being on there for hours.

OR . . . change it to THIRD person: he/she/one/a person

A person may get on on Facebook, thinking he  will just check his notifications and end up being on there for hours.

Plagiarism 101

Taken from the English Dept. of Middle Georgia State College policy and your syllabus:

If you plagiarize an assignment, that grade will result in a zero. Plagiarism occurs when a writer uses the ideas, wording, organization, etc., of another writer without proper citation, whether intentional or unintentional. This includes having someone “help” you write the paper, buying the paper online, or lifting ideas, sentences, and/or paragraphs from another text. Keep an electronic copy of all assignments and be prepared to send it to me immediately if asked. Please go to the MSC Library site for further information on avoiding plagiarism. Failing this course is the common penalty for plagiarism.  

Note:

A plagiarism prevention service is used in the evaluation of written work submitted for this course. As directed by the instructor, students are expected to submit their assignments, or have their assignments submitted, through the service in order to meet the requirements for this course. The papers may be retained by the service for the sole purpose of checking for plagiarized content in future student submissions.

For additional information, see:

http://www.mga.edu/academic-resource-center/plagiarism/why.aspx

The information covered on this website will be covered on the next quiz, whether we have an opportunity to cover all aspects of it or not.

NOTE: I do not read essays with the intent of discovering plagiarism; however, when it becomes obvious that more than just an occasional uncited statistic has crept into the paper (perhaps several sentences or entire paragraphs), when the language (diction--the words--and syntax--how those words are arranged to form sentences) becomes more sophisticated and academic than the typical college freshman, then red flags go up and I begin to suspect plagiarism.

What plagiarism does:

• Throws doubt on the authenticity of all further work done in a class by the individual
• Brings greater scrutiny to an entire class of papers—if one person plagiarized, then surely many more did as well; these, too, must be rooted out, and that takes even more time in grading
• Insults & angers the instructor (whether teacher or professor), sometimes forcing him/her to change plans for the ENTIRE class.

Examples of plagiarism: 

" . . . students who used social media had an average GPA of 3.06 versus non-users who had an average GPA of 3.82"  TAKEN FROM AN ARTICLE FOUND online titled,  "Are social networking sites good for our society?

Used in the paper it became one of MANY, MANY statistics, all of which were plagiarized; the student's paper read:

Students who use social media had anaverage GPA of 3.06 while non-users had an average GPA of 3.82 and students who used social networking sites while studying scored 20% lower on tests. 

Almost the ENTIRE paper was like this.

English 1101 is meant for YOU to increase YOUR critical thinking and YOUR critical reading, so that YOU can better express YOUR ideas in a clear, complete, concise manner.  It matters what YOU THINK, what reasons YOU can give and explain on these papers, NOT what you can find on the internet, which could be easily found and read. THINKING and  WRITING are HARD. 

Plagiarism Example #2:

"The immediacy provided by social media is available to predators as well as friends. Kids especially are vulnerable to the practice of cyber-bullying in which the perpetrators, anonymously or even posing as people their victims trust, terrorize individuals in front of their peers. The devastation of these online attacks can leave deep mental scars . . . ." TAKEN FROM an article written by Brian Jung, found online.

Used in the student's paper, this became the entire fourth paragraph, with an additional opening and closing sentence, written by the student. At the end of the paper, the student attempted to list the reference (incorrectly), but made NO acknowledgement of the source in the text of the paper. Thus, the student plagiarized.

Understand and make NO mistake: whether it is intentional OR unintentional--IT DOES NOT MATTER.  IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY  to understand and avoid plagiarism. 

Week SIX!!

All paper will be returned the first day of class next week, at the latest. Many will be give back the 2nd day of class this week.

TRY to understand, please. I received 5 SETS of essays last week--23 essays per set. You do the math.

The next quiz we have will be over the essays we read and discuss on Narration, Description, and Cause and Effect. These are NOT essays that you will be asked to write, but you do need to be familiar with them, especially noting how example is used in developing and expanding these essays.

Keep in mind that the 2nd best way to improve your writing is to READ; thus, for the second day of class this week, READ:

"Pink Floyd Night School" - 116
Comprehension: 1, 2, 4, 5
09:                                   02:                 06:
Kyle-1                          Kayla                 Taylor                        
Tasheira -2                   Marissa              Tricia       
Morgan-4                     Holly                  Ericka
Troynecia-5                  Amy                  Marchetta         
Purpose and Audience: 1, 2
09:                                      02:                         06:
#1                                   Reshonda                  Joann
Hannah-2                        Zelvin                       Jordan
Style and Structure: 1, 3, 4(note: this answer is closely connected to #4 under comprehension)
09:                                      02:                        06:
Sirvoda-1                          Thomas                Amber
Lester-3                             Marcus                Brandon     
Justin-4                              Adam            

"Shooting an Elephant" -- 133
Comprehension: 1, 2, 3
09:                               02:                              06:
Antonio-1                  Paige                          Shanta
Lonna-2                     Justin                         Kelley
India-3                       Josh & Kevin            Mary Cole
Purpose and Audience: 2,3
09:                                     02:                       06:
Ayshia-2                      Paris                       Matthew
Shantelle-3                  Christian                 Cartellis
Style and Structure: 1, 2, 3
09:                                     02:                       06:
Jalisa-1                          Xavier                   Chris
#2                                   Jazmyne              Elizabeth
#3                                  Anastasia              Elijah

"Indian Education" -- 142
Reading Literature: 2, 3
09:                               02:                     06:                   
Derrick-2                    Connie             Dallas
Tammy-3                     SiMyer            Serenea   

NOTE:  all of these fall under the chapter dealing with Narration
I have no doubt that I may have made an error in the listing, even though I was making an effort to help; if you see something that is inaccurate, please send me an email: sharon.aiken@maconstate.edu

Rubric for Essay #1

Thesis Statement 20 pts.	0-5 pts. - There is no discernible thesis statement	6-10 pts. - Thesis statement is weak, poorly focused, and poorly placed	11-15 pts. - There is a thesis statement, but lacks force.	16-25 pts. - Forceful, deliberate, strategically placed statement.
MLA Format, Grammar, Spelling, Mechanics—Tense and Person 30 pts.	0-5 pts. – MLA format has not been followed; work has five or more spelling errors and/or serious grammatical errors; there are tense shifts or agreement errors either in subject/verb or pronoun/antecedent; vague pronoun reference may be a problem; incorrect or wrong word may have been used.	6-10 pts. – MLA format has been used, but presentation has three or more spelling errors and/or serious grammatical errors; there are tense shifts or agreement errors either in subject/verb or pronoun/antecedent; vague pronoun reference may be a problem; incorrect or wrong word may have been used.	11-15 pts. - Presentation has no more than two misspellings and/or grammatical errors; it is consistent in tense (for the most part) and there are no errors in agreement or word usage.	16-20 pts. – Presentation has no misspellings or grammatical errors; it is consistent in tense, with no more than one or two minor imperfections of flaws
Examples, Content  & Knowledge 25 pts.	0-10 pts. – Student does not understanding or have grasp of essay concept; does not have adequate detail or information for examples used. The few examples that are present are not directly related to the thesis statement	11-20 pts. - Student is uncomfortable with content and is able to write only minimal information, with little detail.  The work displays details, but these are not always directly, explicitly related to the thesis statement.  Reader is forced to draw inferences which may or may not be correct or accurate	21-25 pts. - Student is at ease with content, but fails to elaborate.  For the most part, details, elaborations, and illustrations of examples are adequate and related explicitly to the thesis statement,	26-30 pts. – Student demonstrates full knowledge of the each example, excellent and abundant  detail, and elaborates fully.  All points and examples are directly, explicitly related to the thesis statement.
Organization & Coherence 25 pts.	0-5 pts. - Sequence of information is hopelessly and carelessly mixed creating chaos and confusion in writing.	6-10 pts. - Reader has difficulty following work because the some irrelevant information has superseded significant information	11-15 pts. - Student presents information in logical sequence with information in a coherent order.	16-25 pts. - Information is in a logical, interesting order and sequence, providing coherence throughout paper. There are  no illogical sentences; there are clear transitions with examples in a logical, coherent order. order