REVISION, EDITING, PROOFREADING

An example of REVISION.

The original:

Food has always surrounded holidays. Since the Super Bowl has become known as the unofficial holiday it's only natural food consumption would be involved. This holiday is surrounded by food just like Thanksgiving; however, you would be more likely to eat pizza than turkey.

REVISION:

Food has always surrounded holidays and the Super Bowl. However, instead of turkey and dressing, a person would be more likely to eat pizza, hamburgers, and chicken wings.

The original:

Setting is the location of where a story is set. It is important because it gives information on a story.

REVISION:

The setting of the story refers to both the location where the action takes place and the approximate time period the action takes place; for example, in Ray Bradbury's story "All Summer in a Day," the setting is in a classroom on Venus, sometime in the distant future.

An example of VPR, vague pronoun reference:

Before the internet, it was very difficult to track down childhood friends, school mates, and others because you had to rely on word of mouth or networking with people to reconnect old relationships.

REVISION:

Before the internet, tracking down childhood friends, school mates, and others was difficult because a person had to rely on word of motuh or networking with people to reconnect old relationships.